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         	 Miss Manners on Toilet Seat Etiquette 
         J.Brent©1999 
         
         I think that all would agree that there are few situations more unpleasant 
          than finding oneself perched upon a soggy toilet seat. 
        In a co-ed restroom at a place of business, there is only one position 
          for the seat to be in, and that is the upright position. If the 
          seat is left in the down(wrong) position, any number of "accidents" 
          might occur. Consider the following profiles: 
        The Gottagorightnow 
          This individual has no concern other than insuring that his own clothing 
          remains dry. If the seat is in the down(wrong) position, there is literally 
          no time for him to lift the seat into the up(right) position. 
        Considering the individual's frantic state of mind at that moment, 
          the liquid in question is certain to be found, at least in part, on 
          the down(wrong) seat. 
        The Expert Marksman 
          This person is so sure of his shooting skills that he finds the seat 
          in the down(wrong) position to be a worthy challenge to his sportsmanship. 
          Not only will he NOT move the seat into the up(right) position, he will 
          most certainly leave it there to once again prove to himself that his 
          aim is true. 
        The Apathetic Man 
          This is someone who cares not for the health and well-being of others, 
          thinking only that as long as HE doesn't have to sit on it, somebody 
          else can clean it up. 
        The Sadist 
          People like this will go out of their way to make others' lives as uncomfortable 
          as possible. This type of malicious individual will actually lower the 
          seat into the down(wrong) position in order to soil the sanctity of 
          the seat to delight in the discomfort of others. 
        To avoid the above situations, the correct position for the toilet 
          seat to be in 99.99% of the time is the up(RIGHT) position, and should 
          only be lowered to the down(WRONG) position when absolutely necessary, 
          then immediately returned to the upright position as soon as the business 
          has been conducted. 
        - Miss Manners 
        7 
           
           
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